Dude in New York

diny. ♥ 23

advice life family decisions new york city real talk

Jan 08

Staying objective and limiting the influence of others

If you want to stay relevant on the web, update your blog about once a month like I do. If you want to make good decisions that will put you on the path to happiness, stay objective.

New York is a big place, with lots of people (and opinions) on hand. The people, they love being involved in someone else’s life. They love sharing their opinions because they want to reaffirm their own choices in the public forum and bounce them off someone else’s. Don’t fall victim to this. In fact, ignore it at all costs and frequently consider doing the opposite.

Family are the biggest offenders. They mean well, but evaluate everything in terms of their own life. You’re not your parent’s peer, you’re their child. Therefore what works for them, may not work for you and visa versa. Friends are a close secondary influence that should usually be ignored, unless completely supportive and in line with your own thinking (at which point, realize that friend is the shit and you should hang on to them for life).

Once you’re able to keep outside influence at bay, consider objectivity. If you’ve ever known something and then found out it was not true, you should be open to the possibility that this could be the case with everything else you know right now. After all, the world is a crazy unpredictable place. Things can get weird. Objectivity lets you observe something from all angles (literally and figurative) to assess the facts and spot-check your perception. A perception could open your eyes, or blind you terribly. When you make a conscious effort to assess things objectively, you can think through the variables of who’s involved, what’s at stake, what kind of incentives are present and the like. This is especially important when people are involved.

Here’s to ignoring outside influence, looking within and acting on our decisions with only our own, personal happiness in mind.

diny. ♥ 24

New York City new york living lifestyle advice money motivational work career

Jan 15

thechriswayoflife asked: hey! once i graduate from college, i am moving to new york city. which is next year.. any tips, etc..?? :)

Yes, indeed. Here are some essentials. If I think of more, I will post them as well.

1. Start planting seeds immediately

Seems like you’re already doing a bit of this, but recently I’ve become a firm believer in the seeding or fishing approach (pick your metaphor). Plant a ton of seeds, and a few of them will grow into something plentiful. Cast out a bunch of lines, and see which one bites. It’s really a numbers game over time, so make sure you connect with a lot of like minded people in NYC as early as possible, let them know what you’re about and what you’re looking for and stay in touch. Something is bound to go down somehow, somewhere, guaranteed.

2. Make sure you know what you want and where you want to be within a year or two

Number 1 made me think of this one … it should probably be first on your list, actually. Have that end game all planned out (or at least loosely planned out). See a vision of yourself living in New York, working at X, hanging out with Y, getting published by Z … or whatever. The more articulated your end game is now, the easier it is to tell people what you’re looking for when you make connections .. and the easier it will be for them to figure out how to help you. So many people don’t know exactly what they’re trying to do .. they’re just trying to “get put on” or whatever. Well, if you’re talking to someone in generalities and just trying to “make it” somehow someway regardless of what that means, it will let people know that you haven’t done your homework and you’re basically wasting their time.

3. Make sure NYC is definitely your first stop after college

It wasn’t mine, man. A friend convinced me to take a detour through Chicago. I was going to move straight to NYC in 2007 right after college but without any experience and looking to get into the music industry, I was looking at an assistant gig with a major label working for peanuts. If I did that, I would be living out of a cardboard refrigerator box within 6 months. Instead I went to Chicago, gained a few years of experience in a city that was a little bit cheaper and easier to handle, then came to NYC guns a blazin’.

4. If NYC is definitely the first stop, then get smart about money immediately

Read some stuff about personal money management. For real. When I got my first gig after college and I wasn’t broke broke no mo’, I went HAM … as in, throwin’ dough around like I really had some. Luckily this all went down in Chicago, so it wasn’t as crazy as it could’ve been if I did the same thing in New York. When you come out here, you need to know how to manage your money so you don’t end up broke and in debt.

5. Make sure your living situation is chill

Everyone in New York seems to have a Craigslist nightmare story. Choose roommates wisely, and if you’re going to live with someone you already know, try to pick someone who will be a helpful and positive influence.

6. When you get here, stay focused

I can only assume you’re moving to NYC to get somethin’ poppin .. as in, make shit happen. Well, make sure you do that and don’t get distracted by how fucking fun New York can be. You’re going to have a lot of fun, but make sure you’re working your ass off too. Otherwise, what’s the point of living in the most expensive city in the world? The reason it’s so expensive is because landowners and landlords know people are willing to pay the high rent in order to be close to the action … they’re trying to make shit happen, and willing to pay for the location. It’s like an investment in your future gangsterism. Feel me?

7. A short word on side hustles …

Everybody out here got ‘em. You got your main gig, and your side gig. If those overlap somehow, even better. Part of it is for the extra dough, and part of it is for the extra fun you have. And the extra people you’re going to meet. And the extra opportunities you will be exposed to. So much extra.

8. Move to Brooklyn

Right out of college? For real, if you’re rolling with family dough definitely get a dope ass spot in the city….otherwise move to Bushwick.

9. Choose your friends wisely

Sort of relates to #5 … when you make new friends in the city, make sure they’re good for ya. You will meet some party motherfuckers out here and they will want to go out constantly … they will talk to you about all the shit they have going on when they don’t do shit but drink PBR and spend (someone else’s??) dough senselessly. Definitely keep a party crew around, but find some people that are into the same productive shit you’re into as well, just to keep a good balance and keep your eye on the prize.

10. Buy groceries and learn to cook

If you’re not in the habit already, get your cook on. Save money and make yourself a more awesome person.

You will notice a common thread in the list above: work and money. But I mean, that’s pretty much a common thread for this city. Work hard, play hard, be smart with your money and don’t let the city chew you up and spit you out. Instead, use the city and all it has to offer to further yourself personally, professionally and perhaps even spiritually.

Have fun, young homey!

diny. ♥ 4

work life advice give a shit please motivation inspiration

Feb 27

Please give a shit

If I’ve learned anything here or anywhere else, it’s the importance of giving a shit. If you don’t give a shit about something in your life, it’s probably not worth your time and quietly makes you more and more pissed off every day that you’re spending time on it. Here’s my favorite example:

Your boss just handed you an assignment you don’t agree with

Give a shit: I’m going to knock this out of the park, then maybe do it my way too and show my boss why my way is better or,

Understand the subject so much so that I’ll be able to sell my boss on a better idea right then and there.

Don’t give a shit:

Reluctantly do a half-assed job, bitching and moaning the entire time, only to produce something lack luster and then feel like you did your boss a huge favor. And since you didn’t communicate any of your own thoughts, you just portray to your boss that you’re wack at your job. At least that’s the face you put on.

So, why the hell would you waste your time or anyone else’s? Give a shit. Do good work. Voice your opinion. Kick life in the ass daily.

diny. ♥ 2

life advice next forever motivation

Mar 02

Don’t plan for what’s next, plan for what’s forever

People seem to be all about “the next thing”.

The first quarter or so of your life, others plan “what’s next” for you.

Kindergarden > Elementary > Junior High > High School > College.

Then you take some job for $, or lack of options, or you go travel or whatever.

All of that is a result of “ok, now what” or “what’s next” mentality.

I’m used to operating in much the same way, actually. Always with the “what’s next?”

I would get a job and say Ok, do this for X years and then Y.

It’s worked to a point, but I think that’s because in hindsight those decisions always had a dash of “what’s forever” in them …. interesting work in music and entertainment. But for a lot of people, there is zero “what’s forever” in their decision making. It’s usually the 2-5 year “short term” or shorter.

Well…some recently read literature is making me realize that “what’s forever” decisions are urgent and clutch.

To fulfill your destiny (I call that “eventually doing something that feels like you were meant to do it your whole life, or something you like so much you’re willing to do it for the sheer enjoyment of it”), you have to make a decision on the thing that will FOREVER guide your life decisions. In (so many) other words, your mantra, motto, purpose, “why”, dream, goal, etc etc

People have these, sure, but they’re not written in stone and they are usually regarded as not important and not urgent things to live by. But this is untrue. These things are the most important, and actually the most urgent. Right now, you could be wasting minutes/hours/days/years doing something that’s not contributing or worse, counterproductive to, what you should actually be doing.

So … what’s (your) forever?

diny. ♥ 4

advice creative make stuff wisdom

May 13

Never Stop Making Things!!

People Who Don’t Make Things Say:

Why are you wasting time doing that?

You’re too old to still be doing that.

Other people aren’t doing that.

You’ll never get far doing that.

Doing that won’t make you money.

Who’s going to appreciate, listen to, watch, experience that?

People Who Make Things Say:

You made that?

That’s awesome.

Hell yeah, how did you make that?

You want to make something together?

Check out what I made.

You’ll only get better making more stuff.

I bet that was fun to make.

Holy shit, you’re amazing!!

etc.

Don’t listen to people who don’t make things. Only listen to people who make things or at least appreciate other people who make things. #realtalk

Posts tagged "advice"

Staying objective and limiting the influence of others

Please give a shit

Don’t plan for what’s next, plan for what’s forever

Never Stop Making Things!!

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